Friday, June 17, 2011

Drooling, celebrities with gigantic heads, and Twizzler injuries

Okay, it's been a hectic week and my scrambled brain is completely incapable of composing a serious post. So... I thought it was high time I steal use borrow, oh all right, COPY a post idea from Karsten Knight again, and give you another sample of some things people have googled over the last few weeks and ended up at my blog.

(and my reactions to them below)

(because I can't resist an opportunity for parenthetical statements)

(surprisingly, no one has found my blog by googling "parenthetical statements")

(perhaps I need to abuse them more...)

"tell the truth messenger"
(okay, okay, no need to get so bossy)
(for the record, those pants do make your butt look big)

"the whitney messenger"
(OMG I've always wanted a definite article as part of my name!)

"who is Shannon Messenger?"
(If they know my name...shouldn't they know who I am?)
(I'm a little worried by this question...)

"shannon whitney naked"
(And I'm REALLY worried by this!)
(for the record: there are no naked photos on this blog)

"getting hit by Twizzlers"
(oh, I am SO curious what this pulls up)

"favorite middle grade fantasies"
(okay, I know MY book didn't bring them here--but I still LOVE that they found my blog this way)

"i am not shame what i did"
(maybe not--but you *should* be ashamed of your grammar!)

"I'm worried that my husband is evil"
(Okay, it REALLY scares me that someone is googling this)

"my husband seems to be very evil"

"laura reinnert tracker"
(PLEASE tell me I haven't spelled my agent's name wrong somewhere on here!)

"platypus symbiotic relationships"
(Come on, who doesn't talk about platypi and symbiotic relationships on their blog?)

"blogging chicken"
(I feel like I should be insulted by this...)

"comie con"
(I *hope* they meant Comic Con)
(otherwise people are searching for communist conventions and finding my blog)
(*looks over shoulder for big brother*)

(for the record this is NOT because I drool!) PERSONAL FAVORITE:

"is r patz big headed"
(the fact that people are googling this pleases me to no end)
(especially since it leads them to my blog)

But, I mean, come on--his head is HUGE in relation to his body!

(Don't believe me? PROOF!)

Other interesting fact: the amount of people googling "Shannon Messenger" seems to have...tripled recently. Perhaps even quadrupled. Which really makes me wonder: do you guys know something I don't?


Bellybutton lint
flesh-eating robots
zombie armadillos
abnormally small earlobes
psychotic unicorns
death by scrabble

hairy feet:

I'm probably going to regret that if "Shannon Messenger Hairy Feet" becomes a hot google search. But I can't help myself. We'll see if any of that triggers any bizarre searches. :)

Happy Friday Everyone!


  1. I'm just amused it was actually spelled "R Patz."

  2. I never get any cool searches like that. Mostly my name and my blog title, which apparently you can google and my blog is top on the list. Wow, it wasn't like that when I first started using the title. I do, though, end up in searches for YA. How cool is that? :D

    I think I'm going to have to put some weird random words just to spice up my search list.

  3. That picture definitely makes his head look big.
    You get some strange searches. I'm still laughing at your thoughts.

  4. Oh, no. That pic of R Patz has GOT to be snapped using some sort of fih-eye lens. Can his head really be THAT big? No, no, no. That's just wrong...and alien-like. I will never look at Edward the same again.

  5. I want peeps to search for me like that. So cool! But then they discover just how awesomely cool you really are, my friend.

    "Who is Shannon Messenger?" She's that awesomely cool writer, that's who. :-)

  6. LoLoL!!! Too funny. People find my blog by Googling normal stuff. LAAAME! Maybe I need to write a few totally bizarro posts or something.

  7. Yeah, I definitely need to stat talking about more random stuff on my blog so people ind it though weirder means. :)

  8. Great post, The Whitney Messenger. ;)

    I once had someone find my blog with this: "Can boogers come out your eyes?" Um, right... I have no idea how they got to my blog. And I really don't want to know what prompted that search. Ick.

  9. I actually laughed out loud at Comie Con! lol

  10. Oh, man, you win the prize, Shannon. Maybe I need to start blogging about weirder topics to improve blog traffic.

    Then again... ;)

  11. That's hilarious ~ :) And, omigosh, R Patz looks so scrawny in that pic!! Maybe if he bulked up a little his head wouldn't looks so big... maybe?

    Thanks, Shannon! I needed a good laugh today!

  12. Hhahahah. You are too funny! I actually gave out the world's biggest snort at blogging chicken. It astounds me what people google... though I do, on occasion, google ridiculous things that i would NOT like to share right now. So yeah, keep up the funny and.. wait, that's not his body! O_o is it?

  13. There may not be naked pictures here ... but you've already admitted to your role in that porn film. Or at least the role they tried to get you to play, before you hightailed it out of there.

  14. Platypus symbiotic relationships?!?!!?

    I am in AWE!

    Take care

  15. LMAO, I LOVE it. Hilarious. Thanks for my laugh of the day. ;-)

  16. Ha! That's funny! And I'm pretty sure half of R Patz's ginormous head is his ginormous hair. It's kinda out of control.

    Also, I'm exactly do you find out what people are Googling to find your blog? I've heard of people doing this before, but I don't know how I check my own, and I really want to. Especially if it involves platypuses!

  17. If he's just wash that head...

    You have the coolest blog searches ever! I am so jealous. It might have been me researching that evil husband...tracking mud across my freshly mopped kitchen floor is pretty evil in my book.

  18. LOL. You always have the most amazing search terms when you do these posts. Haha.

  19. I'm worried for that wife who thinks her husband is evil... :) And yes, RPattz is SO bigheaded! Love that.

  20. I actually Googled belly button lint once for my kids. They kept wondering how my husbands belly button lint could always be blue no matter what color shirt he's wearing. The answer was dirt and body sweat. Ick. LOL.

  21. Ha ha, there are some really random ways to find your blog :)


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