Wednesday, April 7, 2010

These Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

(A.K.A. Revision Bootcamp: Day Two)

So...I'm not a mom--but sometimes I feel like I am, because, well, I write middle grade. Which means I spend large portions of my day hanging out with a bunch of imaginary 12-year-olds. And if I'm being honest, a lot of times, they make me feel like I WANT TO KILL THEM ALL OFF IN A GIANT FIERY EXPLOSION OF DOOM.

See, the thing is, I'm one of those crazy writers whose characters are so real they not only talk to me, they boss me around. Which is great during the whole words-flowing-freely-rough-draft stage. But during the whip-them-into-submission-with-revision stage? Um...it's NOT SO MUCH FUN!

I've tried begging. I've tried threatening. Shoot, I've even tried bribery (and trust me, bribing imaginary children is NOT an easy thing to do). And STILL they won't cooperate. 

So now, they're on a Time Out. 

They can sit in their Auntie Sara's inbox and they can THINK ABOUT WHAT THEY'VE DONE!!!!! And maybe Sara can get through to them. I mean, after all, she's the cool CP/Aunt. I'm just the mean Writer/Mom making them do all these things they don't want to do.

So in case you're wondering how the revisions are going, well...things are getting a little crazy around here (or maybe I'M just going a little crazy around here--it's *highly* possible). But I will get things under control soon because I refuse to be defeated by imaginary children! I brought them into this world darnit and I can take them out! I have a delete key and I'm not afraid to use it!!!!!

In the meantime, I'll be researching giant prehistoric bugs for another scene. (It's cute if you think I'm joking.) Ah writing...it's definitely a one of a kind experience. :)

17 comments:

  1. I’m sure you can whip those imaginary 12 year olds into shape (Really, bribes didn’t work?). Maybe the Time Out will help, or take away some of their games. If they are anything like unruly real 12 year olds I do not envy you!

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  2. Ha! While I am glad that I don't have unruly 12 year olds in my head, I often wish I did. 12 year olds wouldn't haunt your dreams (yes, my male characters mess with my dreams...a lot). And I can't give a 125 year old elf a time out!

    I feel your frustration! It's nice to know that my characters aren't the only ones that make the revision process to difficult!

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  3. Have you tried the naughty spot? It works for the Super Nanny.

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  4. How amused am I that Sara's the mean auntie? Very, that's how.

    Also, I think you're joking about researching giant prehistoric bugs for another scene. Am I cute now?

    *wanders off whistling*

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  5. I totally understand getting involve with your characters! Hang in there!

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  6. I love it! Uh, not the you-going-crazy part, though that does make for a nice blog post, but the whipping-those-imaginary-characters into submission part. Can I have a step-by-step post when you figure out the steps? lol

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  7. Shannon, you may not be a mom now, but honey, you're SO ready to be one! You have the threats down pat. "I brought you into this world...", "I have a (fill in the blank with any object that's within arms reach) and I'm not afraid to use it." *sighs* Ah, motherhood. Whether real or imaginary, the wee-ones rarely behave when you want them to. :) Good luck, girl.

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  8. This made me laugh. Hope you can tame those 12 year old down.

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  9. I hear you! A good spanking sometimes works. ;)

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  10. Love the analogy. Now they need a cute grandma who gives them whatever they want and bakes for them and knits them sweaters. ;)

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  11. Can totally relate except most of my characters are adults acting like children. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I hope they start behaving for you soon!

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  12. Ha ha ha ha ha!! Isn't it great to send them away for even just a few precious moments? I'm sure they'll return ready to behave for a little while at least. You are a doll! Enjoy your prehistoric bug researching! :-)

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  13. Time out sounds like a good idea! Enjoy the few minutes you get of silence :)

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  14. Oh giant prehistoric bugs! Ahh, nooo!

    Sounds like you know what to do. I hope they get in line for ya ;o) Show them who's boss ;o)

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  15. Bribery didn't even work?!?!? What is the world coming to?
    Seriously though, good luck. If bribery didn't work, I don't know what will. Take care!

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