Monday, March 15, 2010

Freakin' PG Love-Scene Blogfest!

Okay, here's the deal. 

In case you missed Simon's epic post a couple weeks ago, there were some major shenanigans that happened on Twitter about a month ago (seriously, why is it ALWAYS Twitter?) 

Basically, Simon and his minions decided I needed to post a love scene on my blog. 

To which I told them: I don't write love scenes. I write middle grade. My characters are 12. No love scenes, unless I want child protective services and maybe the FBI beating down my door.

To which they said: Branch out to another genre, write one, and post it. 

To which I said: Um, no, I keep my blog PG rated--and Idon'twritelovescenes!!!!

To which they said: Write a PG rated love scene!

To which I said: What part of Idon'twritelovescenes don't you understand???

At which point I realized no one was listening to me because somehow everyone had decided that writing a PG-Love Scene was the ultimate challenge and that there should be a blogfest forcing everyone to write one and before I could turn and flee I'd been roped into it. And--just to make sure I participated, Simon TOTALLY called me out on his blog (he had a picture of me and everything) and has even resorted to hounding me on Twitter over the weekend (along with a few of his minions). *sighs* 

So yeah...I'm taking part in a freakin' PG Love-Scene blogfest. 

*scowls*

*grumbles*

*scowls some more*

BUT--I did find a totally AWESOME loophole, and since I LOVE to annoy Simon (and it serves him right for forcing me into this in the first place) I'm taking it!

And just so no one can call shenanigans on me, here are Simon's rules

  • A short love scene between two characters (yes, two, ‘cause if it’s a threesome or better, it sure as hell ain’t PG!)
  • The reader needs to understand that the act of love is occurring, but the language must remain MG/PG.
  • You may not fade to black because that would be cheating. 
And here is my responding scene--written just for this blogfest with no time for revision, so I apologize if it's a little rough:

*hopes Simon's head explodes*

*snickers*

***

Cold Sweat soaked her nightgown as Phoebe untangled herself from the blankets and buried her face in her pillow. 
It was a dream, she reminded herself. It was only a dream.
But she couldn't erase the horrible face that had haunted her nightmare, and every time she closed her eyes she could see him.
Watching.
Waiting. 
A shiver rocked her body and she couldn’t take it anymore.
She didn’t care that she'd turned twelve last week, or that her brother would tease her and call her a baby in the morning. She wanted her mom to hold her and stroke her hair and tell her that everything was going to be okay.
The cold floor stung her feet as she padded down the hall to her parents' room.
The door was closed—which was unusual—but it wasn’t locked.
Strange sounds filled the air as she pulled the door open. Were her parents sick? There was so much heavy breathing.
“Mom?” she whispered, as her fingers found the light switch and flicked it on.
A tangle of limbs and skin and body parts burned her eyes as they adjusted to the light.
Her dad mumbled a string of words he’d told her never to use and her mom struggled to adjust the blankets.
But Phoebe was way ahead of them. She turned and fled, ignoring her mom’s calls as she raced to the safety of her bedroom, slamming the door.
She wasn’t scared of the man in her dream anymore. In fact, she hoped his face would greet her when she closed her eyes. Anything to erase the horrors she’d just witnessed.
She was never going to her parent’s room at night again.

***

Okay Simon--there you go!

The "love scene" part is between 2 characters--and you never said I wasn't allowed to have a third character in another part!

The act of love CLEARLY occurs--no fading to black--and I stuck with PG-MG appropriate language.

SO THERE!

*sticks out tongue*

And for those of you who think I cheated, well...tough. ;)
Plus, I did you a favor. 
Trust me, I don't write a good love scene. I'm an Epic-Kiss-And-Fade-To-Black kind of girl--which is why I write Middle Grade to begin with. We all have our specialties. Hot and Steamy is NOT one of mine. 

To read the rest of the blogfest entries, click here.

Okay, *phew!*

One embarrassing, stressful, furstrating blog challenge down. Now I just need to fulfill Frankie's latest #blogwar dare and I'm done. If only I had ANY idea how to make that stupid movie. *headdesk*

36 comments:

  1. Brilliant! I couldn't do it. My entry is pretty tame ;)

    The poor girl! I can't imagine how traumatizing that must have been (although you do a good job of painting the picture;).

    I'm with her. I would prefer the nightmares over that for sure lol!

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  2. I can't wait to come back and read Simon's comment about this one.

    You definitely followed all the rules =) And I still crack up when I get to the end of it (the last line is PERFECT)... Nice flash Shannon. Though, you already knew how much I liked it ♥

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  3. Well, brilliant. Very MG acceptable. I like it very well.

    ........dhole

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  4. Mua ha ha ha ha! Well played. I actually was that little girl once. *shudders*

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  5. OMG! That is perfect. I liked it a lot. :)

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  6. SPECTACULAR! And here I thought it couldn't be done. As Tina said, well played!

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  7. Haha, you tricky lady. I hope this doesn't bring back painful memories for too many people.

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  8. lololololololololol!!! I cannot breathe. How sneaky of you! How wonderful! How I wish I would have thought of it too! You really do have an MG brain. It took me hours to come up with my short scene and geez I could have played on the nightmare we all have as kids!

    Oh how I love it! I will be back to read Simon's response...yessiree! Shannon you are an amazing opponent - I hope to never be against you in an argument or fight! ;o)

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  9. Great scene! I love the way you worked the system there. :)

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  10. Love it! Definitely PG, definitely fits the guidelines...it's a win! :)

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  11. You didn't cheat! I was specifically told that the act could be OBSERVED. I originally planned to go with a girl walking in on her parents. But my 12 year old daughter was my litmus test and the thought would horrify her. So I went with my MC discovering her friend's 17 year old brother having sex.

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  12. Fabulous! Perfectly handled, clear and vivid. I was about 12 when I accidentally had the same experience as your protagonist--spot on!

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  13. *falls over laughing*

    I dub thee the PG Love Scene Ninja!

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  14. I KNEW you were going this direction when we forced you into taking up the challenge. Especially when you said you had a loophole. Well, well done. I'm glad you rose to the occasion and posted. You know I would have tortured you otherwise. (just remember I *still* have a certain pic in my camera and that could have been posted without waiting longer than a minute) Bravo. Now read mine. If you dare....

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  15. Genuis. Pure Genuis. That's all!

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  16. You WIN!!!

    I love blog fests, but I was soooo scared of this one. It was just wrong, just wrong to me. I'm reading the Gregor the Overlander series, and I'm on the fifth book and two characters might, maybe kiss soon and I'm excited...then I remember they're 12 and think it's weird. I couldn't write these, so I applaud you for getting out of it...or totally following the rules.

    I can't wait to see what Simon says, though.

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  17. Ha! Hahaa! Hahahahaaa! Oh, nicely sidestepped, darlin'. I should have been more careful with the rules, shouldn't I? Oh, well.

    Thanks for playing along, Shannon. You're a good sport. I don't care what all those other people on Twitter say about you. ;)

    I'm just pleased that I apparently have minions now. I shall now set my plans for world domination in motion...

    (Plus, hope I didn't disappoint with such a non-outraged comment, folks. If I find some outrage later, I'll be sure to come back and express it... :)

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  18. Cute - I like your solution to the challenge. :)

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  19. Kristen: I'm sure it's not lame at all. I'll be hopping over there to check it out soon, but I have no doubt it'll be wonderful. And thanks for the compliment. I would DEFINITELY be traumatized if I were Phoebe. *shudders*

    Sara: Aw, *hugs* Thanks. You're way too sweet. ;)

    Donna: Aw, thanks. Glad to hear it's MG appropriate. Would be bad if the MG writer couldn't do MG. ;)

    Tina: Why thank you. And wow...*shudder* How DID you survive?

    Sarahjayne: Aw, thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

    VR: Haha. Thanks!

    Kayleen: Aw, thank you. *blushes* Sheesh, everyone is being so nice. *tear*

    Livia: I can be tricky when I want to be. And lol, I hope not too.

    Southern Princess: hehe. I DEFINITELY think MG. But I can't wait to read your scene. I'll be hopping there soon. And I could NEVER go against you in anything. You're sweetness would totally put me to shame.

    Abby: LOL. Working the system is one of my specialties. ;)

    Rhonda; Yay. I was so worried everyone would call shenanigans. Glad you think it was a win.

    Denise: Hooray for rule benders. I like your approach--I can't wait to read it. ;)

    Portia: Wow-how DID you get over the trauma? ;) Glad I got it right, since I *thankfully* never experienced this horror.

    CJ: AWESOME I'M A NINJA. That just made my day. I shall wear the title proudly. ;)

    LK: Yep-you can corner me but you can't make me cooperate! =P And OMG I CAN'T believe you're threatening me with that picture--that's just EVIL. And I will dare. I'll be reading your entry shortly.

    Tiffany: Aw. *Blushes* Thanks!

    Heather: Yay-I win! I agree--the idea TOTALLY horrified me too. If I hadn't found a loophole I'm fairly certain I would have gone into hiding instead. But I'm glad you liked. ;)

    Simon: Aw, I knew you'd be a gentleman about it. But yes, next time when trying to force me into submission you must be clearer with your rules. I can spot a loophole a mile away. Oh and yes, you definitely HAZ minions. Which is a scary, scary thing.

    Jemi: Aw, thanks. Glad you liked.

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  20. Wooohooo love the loophole and poor girl! She's scarred for life now!

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  21. Nice!
    Somehow, I think everyone is acting reluctant in their posts and some are bending the so called rules. I didn't even write under 18 characters in mine. *shrugs* The reluctance leading up to so many of our posts, include the one holding the blogfest (Yep, I saw that) is amusing. Might even be more amusing than some of the actual scenes.
    Well done with yours and it wasn't all that bad with the roughness of the draft.

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  22. Bwah-ha-ha! Fantastic, hon! Your poor, traumatized MC.

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  23. ROFL! Wow, that was epic. Good job on finding a loophole! And excellent writing btw!

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  24. Great Great story! "Anything to erase the horror that she had just seen" Wonderful line!

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  25. Haha! That's an awesome loophole. I think I would be having nightmares if Phoebe was the one in the act.

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  26. There is something so magical about the "short and sweet" approach. I loved it, especially where she welcomes the man in her dream after fearing him. I lol-ed, well done!

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  27. Isn't walking in on the 'rents one of the more basic rites of passage?

    I enjoyed this scene because I could relate -- and I loved the way your character was looking for comfort and instead stumbled through the dark only to find humiliation and trauma instead. :)

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  28. i plopped on in from Christine's Writer's Hole. what is it with writers accepting challenges to do things they really have no desire to do? we must have some kind of genetic predisposition to punishment or something (i mean, isn't that why we write?). great way to get around, i mean, bend the rules and still write a great scene.

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  29. This was the perfect solution, of course! :D

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  30. So perfectly brilliant. : ) Though it is traumatizing if you think about it on any personal level at all! And yet I have to give handfuls of kudos for the proper application of a loophole. ; )

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  31. Ooooh, that was priceless. Hee hee hee. Loved it. I wish I had found that loophole. I whimped out instead. Yours is fabulous.

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  32. Oooh, you clever thing. I'll remember never to dare you on anything. Ever.

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  33. LOL. Awesome. You did it!!! Good for you. :)

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  34. Nice job! Way to incorporate some trickery *rubs hands together*

    Enjoyed reading it!

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  35. Mwhahaha! Good job! I loved it! Perfect for MG =) Hope Simon got a kick out of it, too!

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Yay-I love comments! Thank you so much! (But please remember to keep your comments spoiler-free. Also, I try to keep this a happy, positive place. Friendly debate is fine, but always be kind to each other). <3