Monday, November 30, 2009

Humiliating Story #1: The Great Game Show Debacle

Apparently you guys love reading about my humiliation, because a bunch of you asked to hear all three of the embarrassing stories I gave you to choose from on Friday's post. And, because I am somehow at 115 followers now and feeling incredibly grateful for that, I'm going to oblige and tell one a week for the next three weeks.

I decided to tell them on Mondays because, well, everyone needs a good pick-me-up to shake off a bad case of the Mondays, so if any of you are having a horrible day I hope laughing at me and the insanity/stupidity that's been my life will cheer you up.

So without further ado I present:

Humiliating Story #1: The Great Game Show Debacle.

Okay, first of all, I'm NOT telling you the name of the game show because one of the other contestants has taken the liberty of posting a clip on YouTube, and I'd really rather not have you guys tracking that down. I still have my bangs in it, and they cut to me WAY more than they did the other guy and well, it's embarrassing enough just telling you guys about this--I don't need you having visual aids to go along with it!

(And for those of you who are planning on googling it I'm WAY ahead of you. I checked, and it's not searchable under my name. It's not even searchable under my maiden name--though I doubt any of you even know what that is, or how to spell it. Sorry, without the name of the game show it cannot be found....I hope.)

So anyway, thanks to It's a Small World After All I ended up as a contestant on a really obscure game show when I was 18. (For details of how it happened, you can read an older post I wrote here). And it was the kind of game show where contestants are on for a whole week--which is fabulous when the episodes rerun, because I get a week of humiliation, not just a day (this has happened at least twice--that I'm aware of--and yes my friends ALWAYS find it and call me up giggling)--but, they filmed the whole thing over only two days.

Day One I wasn't an actual playing contestant (the game show had ALL these crazy, confusing rules I can't even begin to explain) so I was placed in the "audience," which basically meant I got to be an extra, without getting paid. Awesome!

And because I was 18 and blonde (and despite the unfortunate bangs, not completely terrible looking) and the kind of people who work as extras on week days during working hours are pretty lame, well, of course I was placed next to the creepiest middle aged guy on the planet who spent the entire day hitting on me.  I'm going to call him Mullet Man because in my head he has a mullet. I can't say whether or not he actually did have a mullet (this was almost 10 years ago people) but I always picture him with one so for all intents and purposes let's just say he had one.

Anyway, so Mullet Man had a lot of fun grabbing my arm and bumping my leg and leaning over to whisper to me and pretty much doing anything and everything to thoroughly creep me out and make me feel the need to go home and take a very long shower afterward. Yes, he asked for my phone number. No, he didn't get it. Yes, he asked me if I needed a ride home. No, I did not accept. Yes, he offered to help me get into acting in a way that held all kinds of creepy innuendos about "casting couches." Yes, I kicked him in the crotch. Okay, no, but I should have. Sadly, I was too intimidated by the fact that I was in Hollywood, surrounded by Hollywood people on a Hollywood Sound Stage to risk causing a scene. Instead I endured 8 hours of creepiness and got out there hoping he wouldn't be there the next day.

He was.

But, by then I was in the Contestant Area (looking super important and official with my cardboard nametag and fancy schmancy microphone battery pack) so he couldn't get to me--something I was feeling pretty smug about. Until the camera guy took over the role of creepy guy.

The camera guy was more subtle--I'll grant him that--but it was mainly because he couldn't talk to me (it could get me disqualified for cheating, because he might have had access to the questions). Instead he did a lot of staring. And watching. And more staring. And filming me--a lot! (Which brings me back to the YouTube video wherein there is a disproportionately high number of Shannon shots--I swear the guy filmed me more so he'd have an excuse to crouch down in front of me. Grrrr!)

And, if I had ANY doubt about his interest it was confirmed three years later when--in a very bizarre twist of fate that could only happen to me--I ran into the OTHER camera guy (the one who wasn't creepy). We were talking and he kept saying I looked familiar and somehow it came out that I'd been on the game show and suddenly he knew exactly who I was (No really, he even remembered what color sweater I wore). I told him I was surprised he remembered me and he told me he only did because the other camera guy went on and on about wanting to ask me out and it annoyed him so much that he would probably never forget me. Which was weird and awkward and the kind of thing that is a theme in my life.

Oh, and before any of you go thinking that this is some sort of proof of my hotness (or worse, some pathetic attempt at bragging on my part) let me be clear. The guys in question were Middle Aged Mullet Man (*shudders*) and a camera guy, who looked kinda like he hadn't showered in well... a long time.

Now, enduring all of this would've been worth it if I'd actually won something. But sadly I lost. I lost bad. I don't think I won a single round. (You have no idea how hard it is to think with a creepy camera guy crouched two feet away filming you--totally threw off my groove.) It was so bad at one point the host teased me about it, and I made a joke about my buzzer not being on and OH MAN--IF YOU ARE EVER ON A GAME SHOW DO NOT DO THAT!!!!

Both producers cornered me at the next commercial break and gave me a VERY long lecture on how questioning the integrity of the game show is a BIG "no no" and made me feel like they were going to lock me up in the Game Show Jail for five years for my crime. Which only made me even more nervous and do an even worse job answering the questions when they started filming again. Le sigh.

But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that they coach you about how they want you to act. They want you to clap for the other contestants AND yourself when the questions are answered. They want you to say your answer like you mean it--even if you're totally pulling it out of your butt (which I was doing most of the time.) But then, when you do these things, the host teases you for it. So I not only look like an idiot clapping for myself the whole time and saying my incorrect answers with tons of conviction, I GET MADE FUN OF FOR IT. Also, on this particular game show they had this whole: stand-and-open-the-envelope-while-talking-thing and yeah, I kept botching it. So it's awesome. It's really really awesome that it's out there and occasionally gets reran (the last time was at least a year ago, so I'm totally overdue) and on YouTube. Yep. It's AWESOME to be me!

Okay then. I think that's enough Shannon humiliation for one day. I hope you guys enjoyed. I promise to tell the other two on the next two Mondays, but don't get too used to this! Sooner or later I'm going to run out of humiliating stories to tell. I hope...

Oh and make sure you come back tomorrow. I'm holding A CONTEST OF EPIC PROPORTIONS, but I'm not telling you what it is. You'll have to check back and see...


  1. OMG! I can't believe you're holding out on us with the clip!

  2. If we hassle you enough, will you post the Youtube video?

    Dude, that guy was freaky looking. I'm hoping your memory has exaggerated the details.

    Great post. Terrible experience, but what a great story!

  3. Great story, and well told! I think awkward situations like that just make for better writers in the end.

  4. I often say if nothing bad happened to us, we'd have no stories to tell. Thanks for sharing this one.

  5. Frankie: If you'd seen it you'd know why. It's horrible. Really, really bad.

    Carolina: Hm. You raise an interesting question. I'm not sure. Maybe. Or maybe if I lose a bet somehow. Or get really, really drunk. :) (And no, the guy really looked like that. This is why movie and TV sets are NOT the glamorous places people think they are.

    Heather: Aw, thanks. It certainly makes me a more interesting person at dinner parties.

    Patti: Very true. Humiliation does make for good stories. And thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. :)

  6. Oh Darl'n! So sorry you endured that, especially at 18!

    I have missed y'all on here so much lately! Between NaNo, company, life crazies & all that jazz my fingers have been itching to explore my blogroll!!!

    Oh & by the way, I happened to list you as a winner of a blog award. You might have won it from someone else before, but I felt the same way!

    Thank you so much for my award! I felt so loved! It had been a hard few days and I was so pleased to read my comments and see the awards. Thank you again.

  7. Wow... um, yeah, wow...

    Sorry. I'm still stuck back on the creepy dude from the audience. :)

  8. Southern Princess:Aw, thanks for the award. I've missed you too! Does this mean you're back from internet isolation?

    Shannon: Yep. That's where I usually get stuck in the story too. *Shudders* BTW, have I commented on how wonderful your name is, because I think I need to do it again! :)

  9. youtube! youtube! *chanting gets louder* YouTube! YouTube! *and louder* YOUTUBE! YOUTUBE! YOUTUBE! YOUTUBE!

    PS the word youtube begins to look REALLY weird when you type it that many times...

  10. OMG, that dude is horrible. And someone like that was checking you out? I would have nightmares for years if that had been me at 18.

    Looking forward to the next humiliating story:)

  11. lol...great story. Thanks for sharing.

  12. That was an entertaining story. :) Did you have fun at all or was it just creepy? I love game shows, haha.

  13. Sara: Oh boy. You're cute. But I think it's going to take more than that to get me to reveal it. Not sure what, but SOMETHING.

    Melane:LOL. Yep. I get ALL the hotties, don't I?

    Okie: Aw, thanks. Good to see you again!

    Steph: You know, I did kinda have fun. Until I saw the episodes and saw how ridiculous I looked. From then on it's kinda been more like WHY DID I DO THAT?!?!

  14. You just made my day, and possibly my week. :)

  15. Heather: Glad my humiliation could serve such a noble purpose. :)

  16. OK, so I'm not sure if you're familiar with Kiersten White or Natalie Whipple but they're two YA authors who make deals with the universe if (when) their book sells. For example, Kiersten promised the universe she would dye her hair a crazy color if she sold her book and now she has a streak of pink in her hair. Natalie has promised the universe that she'll bowl in skinny jeans and video tape it if her book gets published.

    For the record, I think you've just found your deal with the universe. You get a book published and you MUST post this video on the blog! Right??? Right.

  17. I second the "deal with the universe" notion. Of course, were I a meanie, I'd go off and start looking up gameshows and which ones ran for a week at a time and somehow track down which one it might have been and look in the Youtube archives, and, uh... try to figure out which contestant is you by dint of the multiple upward-looking camera angles. Or something.

    Thankfully for us both I'm not that motivated. So post the link when you're published, will ya? :)

  18. Lisa and Laura: Oh boy, now you've gone and brought the Universe into this. There's no going back from that you know. So FINE! It's a deal. Not sure if it should be when my book sells or when I land an agent, but fine, if that happens I will reveal the horrifying youtube clip in all its glory. Yikes, it's official now (or it will be once I decide what the deal is and post about it) :)

    Simon- I'm still not sure you'd find it--it's a VERY obscure show--but I'm glad you aren't that motivated. And fine. I'll make a deal with the universe and post about it soon. Grrrrrr!

  19. Your responses are as funny as your posts. That was a great story. Thanks for sharing, and I'm totally looking forward to seeing the YouTube video when the Universe keeps his end of the bargain.

  20. Myrna- Wow, I haven't even posted about it and I'm already being held to it. The Universe doesn't play around, does it? :) Well, I guess as long as something REALLY good happens then it won't be that bad to totally humiliate myself. I guess. *cringes* (Oh and thanks for the compliment. You're way too sweet to me!)

  21. I was on Double Dare when I was 13 and thought is was cool to make "bangs" out of the front part of my afro..... I wore a headband an pulled a big poof out front cuz I thought I looked good... My Childhood BFF's parents have the VHS tape though..... I was on the Red Team and got to put my bff through the big crank machine and I stuck my hands up the Big Nose full of boogers to find the flag! We didnt win but We did get like 250 Duncan YoYos and Reebok sneakers and bikes and some Gak! LOL! Good times and I plan on trying to figure out what game show this is....;)

  22. Princess Aurora: Wow. I think that may be worse than my game show story. I have mine on VHS too, which is bad enough--but youtube is worse! Have you checked to see if you're on there? I NEVER thought I would be, but alas--there I was. Le Sigh. Thanks for the comment and for sharing the story. I love new followers--especially ones who comment! :)

  23. OMG, how did I miss this??! I've been here every single day, haven't I??

    Anyway, AWESOME story. But eek, those guys sound creepy.

    I kept looking for clues about what game show it was: Oh, there's a buzzer! Oh, the host is a man!....That's about as far as I got. Queen of Youtube though I am (it says on my Wikipedia page ;P), I don't think I'm going to find this Youtube clip on my own.
    Which means you need to get to work on ShaNoRevisMo (no pressure, of course!) so we get to see it soon!

  24. Hilarious! oh and awful. Sorry you had to go through that. Really. I love that they made you clap for yourself...LOL.

    Thanks for sharing :o)

  25. Thanx for sharing yore personal experience here.I also want to share some exprience with you.Recently i visited a site which providind a nice game shows .It is also providing Unique Game Shows for more detail you can visit that site atlest once.


Yay-I love comments! Thank you so much! (But please remember to keep your comments spoiler-free. Also, I try to keep this a happy, positive place. Any arguing or intense debate--on any subject will be removed. Let's keep this a safe, fun space.